Weekend Challenge #25.1 – What True Love Is: Lessons from My Wife and A Foster Puppy

This post has been in the making for a while. It began a few months ago when my wife, Katie, approached me with an opportunity to foster a puppy in need. We would keep her as our own until a forever family found her. Now, I know what you’re thinking and no this doesn’t end in a “foster fail” where we would keep her ourselves. We already have three dogs so that wasn’t an option.

But, meet Little Girl.

She looks great right? Well, this photo is more of an “after” than a “before”. This was taken just a few days before she was adopted and after Katie had shown her what real love is. Let’s go back about a month and a half…

Looks a little different there, huh? Before coming to us, Little Girl was a true street dog in Houston. She was born and remained homeless for the first few months. She didn’t know people and only saw them as a threat to her life. At some point, someone thought to help her out. We’ll never know this person, but we couldn’t be more grateful for them. Whoever they are, they got Little Girl off the street and to a local animal shelter in Houston. The problem was with so many stray’s, the shelter was what we call a “kill shelter”. If the puppy isn’t adopted soon, they have to euthanize them. Little Girl had a shortlist of days left.

But Little Girl was soon taken in by a local animal rescue here in Colorado. She’d have to make the journey via van, but her life would be saved. Then, she ran away. She only knew safety as a stray and went back to that. She lived in the woods of Texas for another few days before she was found, tossed in a kennel, loaded on a van and bound for Colorado. They couldn’t let her out for the entire trip because she was deemed a “flight risk” and couldn’t be trusted.

This is where Katie and I come into the picture.

We were notified that Little Girl would be arriving late one afternoon, so we got our house ready and drove the 20 miles or so to pick her up. I’ve seen scared dogs before but peering into that kennel was tough. She was shaking, clearly weak, dehydrated, and had obviously needed the bathroom at least once on the fifteen-hour drive and had no option but to use the kennel itself. She was covered in her own feces and scared to death. As a dog lover, it was hard to see any animal in that condition.

When we finally got her home, we carried her kennel to the backyard and opened it up for her to explore her surroundings and use a proper puppy bathroom. That’s when we saw the ticks. Huge ones crawling around the bottom of the kennel. We knew there were surely more still thriving under her fur. She ran from us, growled at us, and tried to get out of the yard any way she could. A couple of hours later we were finally able to get her in the kennel again using plywood like bumpers at a bowling alley, and then into the house for a tick bath and hopefully some food and water.

Let’s suffice to say, Little Girl was a mess.

Now I get to admit something I’m not proud of. Instead of being kind and helpful, I resorted to fear and anxiety. What if she gave ticks and fleas or something worse to our dogs? What if she digs her way out? What if she destroys everything in our house or pees all over? Yup, I became completely selfish and those of you with anxiety know the downward spiral of “what if”. Over the next few days, we pulled more than 20 ticks off of her, gave her a couple of baths, woke up at all hours of the night to her crying, and tried to keep our hands away from her mouth in case biting was the next response of her fear.

I became completely selfish and those of you with anxiety know the downward spiral of “what if”.

You might be wondering where I’m going with all of this. The point for you and all of us is in the lessons learned about love and life through our time with her.

What I learned most from Little Girl wasn’t how to care for a foster puppy, it was how amazingly blessed I am to have my wife. I found the only real “LIFE hack” is to be incredibly careful with who you surround yourself with like the Council and especially with who you choose to be your partner for life.

The only real “LIFE hack” is to be incredibly careful with who you surround yourself with like the Council and especially with who you choose to be your partner for life.

A couple of days after she got here, we were able to give Little Girl some time in the backyard to relax but it had to be within a playpen so she couldn’t escape. I was working in my office one morning and trying not to think about the little dog that could cause so many problems.

But when I looked out my window, I saw the moment I captured with the pictures above. There was Katie, down in the grass next to Little Girl. Whispering to her, petting her patiently as to not be threatening, giving her small bites of food out of her hand. There was Katie loving this little animal just like she loved everything, including me. I could almost see myself in Little Girl at that moment. I often live in fear, hiding from the very things that could help me grow. But Katie’s love never wavers and it never falters. This moment reminded me that of anything I have ever, or will ever do, marrying this woman was the best decision I could make.

Over the next month and a half, Katie continued to love Little Girl and I continued to be amazed. It was as if Little Girl and I both learned to relax together. Katie loved her with pets and reassurance and loved me with confidence and grace. All the while, Little Girl and I both let go of our fear, beat down our anxiety, and opened up to our new arrangement.

Flash forward over that time and I found myself loving Little Girl just like Katie did. She slept next to me, ran with me in the yard, welcomed me home with the highest pitched squeal I’ve ever heard, and became just like all of our other dogs. She was one of our pack and we loved her just the same. Little Girl became family.

 

In the first few days of July, a family wanted to meet and potentially adopt our Little Girl. They came to see her with their ten-year-old daughter. Anyone else who met Little Girl was frustrated because she ran and hid. She trusted us but humans, in general, were a threat. But this time was different. The moment this young girl came into our yard, Little Girl was at peace. She sat next to her, looked at her for pets, and relaxed. We knew she had found her person.

A few days later, it was time for Little Girl to go home. We had done our duty to protect and provide for her. We had shown her that humans are good and not evil. We gave her love and watched her blossom because of it. We gave her a house and a family so that when she got to her home, she knew she would be ok. Above all, Katie had shown us both that with enough patience and perseverance to choose love over fear, miracles can happen and homes can be built.

Above all, Katie had shown us both that with enough patience and perseverance to choose love over fear, miracles can happen and homes can be built.

When her new family drove away with Little Girl, Katie and I couldn’t hold back our tears anymore. We held each other and cried. We knew Little Girl was now in the right place but the hole in our heart was still very real. As foster parents, you aren’t to get attached but Katie taught me that the only way to love Little Girl was to get attached. Living and loving fully means that you’ll have pain – don’t run from it embrace it because it is what reminds you that you’re still alive.

Little Girl put the LIFE principles on full display. I failed at operating with love at first, I dropped my integrity at times and didn’t help, I distanced myself from my own wife in a failure of fellowship, and excellence was surely not a part of the story.

But, soon I loved Little Girl as I love my own pups, I became a true partner and did what I said I would do to help, I grew closer to my wife, and I became an excellent foster pup dad (if I do say so myself). I experienced the full spectrum of the LIFE principles all in relation to Little Girl.

We are lucky to get updates and pictures of Little Girl from her new family and she is doing better than ever. We miss her dearly but know she is in the right place. And I am forever grateful for all she taught me about myself, Katie, and our marriage.

Next week, Part II of this post will be about the lessons I learned about love from my wife and her time with Little Girl. To give you a preview, if we are to truly Operate with Love, we can take so much from Katie and people like her. Operating with Love means:

• We ALWAYS put others first
• We are PATIENT with every word and move
• We CHOOSE to see the absolute best in even the toughest people…or puppies
• We PERSEVERE in the darkness and bring about the light
• We IGNORE those who say it won’t work and we love anyway

I won’t apologize for the length of this post or the fact that it will hit you in two parts. If you can’t find time to read it, no worries but it’s a story worth telling and one worth learning from. If you do take the time to read it, I applaud you for it and look forward to your feedback.

Weekend Challenge

Since this week lays the groundwork for the more actionable post next week, I simply hope you spend this weekend thinking about one idea and one question:

• Idea – In LIFE and in love, you can’t take a break from looking out for each other.
• Question – How can you be more like Katie and love others openly and patiently without ever taking a break?