It’s not a new idea, you hear it all the time, “you are the product of the five people closest to you.” However, I think there is something missing in this old piece of advice. A sort of nuance about how we know it to be true is worth exploration. Particularly worth it for the LIFE Council that quite literally survives on this very idea.
It is easy to say that we know something or someone. If you think about it, you’ll rarely be challenged on a statement of knowledge. “Oh, yea, I know him” or “Sure, I know that too” are more common than we realize because they are ordinary. We assume we know things we probably don’t and are fine when others do the same.
We assume we know things we probably don’t and are fine when others do the same.
But let’s pause on that assumption. What does it really mean to know? I’m not about to go all philosophical on you but it is interesting to note that the Greeks had multiple words for what we refer to as knowledge. Two that are relevant here are, “Ginosko” and “Oida”. Ginosko is to know something through experience, an intimate knowledge discerned in fullness. Oida is knowing through observation. In our world of social media and news coverage, we are 99% oida. We see one post about a new health craze and we are sudden experts on everything health and performance. But real understanding is in the depth of ginosko.
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If you are the product of the five people closest to you, then you should probably know who those people are on a ginosko level. These are the people who might beat you in the race, but while doing so, they make you faster than you were yesterday. The only way to know is through ginosko.
So, here are a few ways to get more ginosko in your LIFE:
- It probably won’t be people you’ve known forever
I hate to start negative, but it must be said. There is an unfortunate reality that many people who have known you for a long time, see you only as your past and present self. They struggle to see you as the future person you are trying to become. As you change and improve, they will say things like, “why do you need to change, you were good as is.” Which is code for, “don’t get better, then I’ll feel bad about myself.” You don’t have to lose these friends, but you probably can’t rely on them to call you up and give you that ginosko of what it means to be pushed.
2. Join a gym with a purpose
Alright, you know my bias. Fitness, in my mind, is a key element to all-around excellence. It also happens to be an area of life where you can easily connect with others around a common interest. So, do some research around your area and find a gym with a purpose. Maybe its bodybuilding, powerlifting, endurance, yoga, or something else. If it isn’t a gym, find a running or cycling group, or a pickup basketball spot. The activity isn’t the point, it is to get around people who are chasing similar goals but are further along than you. The Globo gyms are fine places to work out but you’re a fish in a vast ocean; more oida than ginosko. Find the right people and get around them.
3. Use social media for good instead of evil
You can experience a lot through social media – comparison, greed, narcissism – all the good stuff. If you’re careful though, you can use social media to curate the right ginosko. You can experience pieces of people’s lives who might lift you up. Avoid anyone out to make themselves look like something they’re not. Find those who provide genuine glimpses into how they achieve success day-in and day-out. You can’t experience it the same way you would if you spent a day with them, but you can get close. I’ll put some people at the end of the article if you’re not sure where to start.
4. Seek arete
Arete, the Greek word for excellence. Excellence is literally the “E” of LIFE for the council but arete captures the essence of the word better than our definition. Arete is excellence in terms of an aggregate of virtue qualities. Arete is excellence in every aspect – physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional. As you start to be intentional about who you surround yourself with, I hope you keep your eyes and ears out for arete. Don’t just find the strongest person at the gym, find the one who has strength but also strong family life and career. Surround yourself with arete and you’ll certainly have ginosko of being called up to betterment
Now I get my chance for the shameless plug. This article is essentially why we started The LIFE Council. We knew we had to be intentional with who we allowed to influence us. As the saying goes, if you don’t control your life, someone else will. Your circle is no different. As you use these four tips to find people, use the LIFE principle of love, integrity, fellowship, and excellence to connect with them as a framework. And, if you get this group together, it’s a LIFE Council and I can get you the resources to build even stronger bonds and make each person better today than yesterday.
Weekend Challenge
This is going to get awkward for some of you. This weekend, I want you to have a conversation with someone you look up to. Bonus points if it’s someone you have only interacted with in passing. Maybe it’s the person at work who seems to have a great family life that you’ve said hi to but never dug further. This weekend send an email and ask them if they would grab lunch next week to talk more about life (yea, I know, COVID – whatever make it work). If it’s someone at the gym who always seems to be on track with their habits, ask if you could train with them for a day.
This is weird for some of us – me more than anyone – but it’s necessary to find ginosko of betterment. You’ll also be surprised at how grateful these folks will be to share what they’ve learned along the way. Chances are it was hard fought for them and they can’t wait to help others.
Happy weekend. Let me know here or on social media how you are seeking an intentional circle of influencers in your life.
Here are some people to start with on social media if you’re going that route (Instagram mostly):
- Andy Frisella – founder of 1stPhorm and perhaps the most honest dude ever on Instagram
- Nick Bare – founder of Bare Performance Nutrition, Army vet, and went from bodybuilder to Ironman in just 6 months. His social and YouTube are great resources
- Dan Connell – a guy who lives the LIFE principles every day in all aspects and happen to be one of my best friends and Council brothers
- Barbells & Brothers – Troy is a fitness minister on a mission to connect men to faith and fitness
- Tony Reyes – A BPN athlete who has worked hard to lose 106 lbs to date and Go One More in every aspect of life.