Ranger School, BUD/S, the Eco-Challenge, NFL training camp…what do all of these events share? Yea, they are difficult, some more than others but they all have a similar goal. Each of these events is designed to be done as a team. They use an extreme physical challenge to build not only individual soldiers and athletes but they build some of the most elite teams on the planet.
If you follow me on social media, you’ve seen the last few months have been a kind of challenge journey of my own. I’m on my way to an Ironman triathlon sometime in 2021 (once races open back up) and last weekend was a major milestone when I completed a half Ironman around my home area. Over the 6 and a half hours I took on a 1.2-mile swim, 56-mile bike ride, and a 13.1- mile run for a total of 70.3 miles.
For someone who had previously never done more than a 13-mile obstacle course race, completing the half Ironman without feeling like garbage seemed like a win. This week I want to focus on the lessons learned from 70.3 and why, although triathlon is an individual sport, I felt a tiny glimpse of what the elite teams must feel as they tackle hard things together.
So, without further delay, here are our LIFE lessons from 70.3 on a beautiful Saturday morning in Colorado…
- Your spouse or partner is your rock
I woke up on race day around 4:00a to eat and get ready to be in the lake by 6:00a. My first moments of being awake were met with a letter that my wife had written the night prior, encouraging me, and letting me know how proud she was of this crazy goal. It meant so much to me to know, right off the bat, that my number one person was fully in my corner. I have had moments of worry that the long training hours and focus on my goal could take away from our marriage but she reassured me that those are some fo the very things she loves most about me. SEALs won’t meet their spouse at BUD/S, but I learned that just like they have with their teammates, chasing a difficult goal built strength within my relationship.
- You are stronger together
Many people who undergo extreme training in a team express that they would not have accomplished the mission without the people to their left and right. As you know, the LIFE Council exists to help us build authentic relationships and be the best people possible. Two of my friends woke up to be on paddle boards during my swim, one rode every mile with me and kept my pace, one remained with me for every step of the race, another paced me for the toughest miles of the run, and they all joined me for the last two miles when it truly became mind over matter. I think I could have finished the race by alone but I know that it would have hurt more and I would have performed worse. To have those men next to me through the suffering, made it easier to handle and strengthened my will. The LIFE Council principle of fellowship is strengthened through challenge together. The LIFE Council can provide you a similar bond as that of elite teams when you walk side-by-side in something difficult – I know it did for us last weekend.
- The only way to truly know is to do
Jocko Willink, retired SEAL Officer and Task Unit Commander, often talks about how the attrition rate in BUD/S hasn’t changed much in recent decades even though candidates can now do thousands of hours of research on what to expect. Knowing what they will face doesn’t seem to make it easier to complete. I prepared quite a bit for the race physically and mentally. It was all helpful, but I knew all my planning would be tested. Until I was in the arena, there was no way for me to really know how my body would respond. I think it goes for so much in life that you learn most deeply by doing. As Teddy Roosevelt famously said, “the credit goes to the man in the arena”. Even if you get beat up, you learn, and you progress. Do your research but when it counts, know that you have to start the race without being fully ready and the best way to push through the unknown is to go together.
The ultimate lesson of 70.3 was that you don’t have to be an elite soldier or athlete to feel the bond that comes from doing hard things together. None of my brothers did the entire half Ironman but they found ways to be there for it. They rode bikes while I ran, paddleboard while I swam, and more. The point wasn’t that we did the same things but that we all pushed our limits together. We built bonds of brotherhood by staring fear in the face and persevering through something other people say is too difficult. We found the true intersection between the LIFE principles of fellowship and excellence. We are at our most excellent when we are in fellowship.
This notion of physical challenge as a building block of fellowship is central to the LIFE Council. At each year’s annual retreat, we take on a physical challenge together. We make sure it is fit for our current fitness but also that it pushes us out of our comfort zone. We also ensure it will require us to work together in some way. We are never competing against one another. We are always competing against the acceptance of mediocrity that surrounds us.
If you want to build true brotherhood, you must face hard things together. In our modern world, we have it pretty easy, so you have to look for challenges. For your group, it might be an Ironman or climbing a mountain. For some, it could be walking around the block carrying a sandbag that you trade. It doesn’t matter as long as it challenges you. Take after the elite teams in the world – every single one of them is built on a foundation of shared suffering and challenge.
Weekend Challenge
Take the first step for your group. This weekend call a friend or five and make a plan to take on something challenging. Don’t do it in vague terms. Set an actual date, provide ideas for the event, and offer to train with whoever wants to. If you have a group with wide-ranging fitness abilities, find ways to differentiate it. For example, you could agree to do a tough hike but those with higher levels of fitness can wear a weighted backpack or weight vest, or maybe they carry all the water for the group (remember, find ways to rely on one another).
It doesn’t matter what it is but stop settling for comfort. Watching a game together is cool but it won’t champion fellowship. Get out there, take on something difficult, and get better.
Best today. Better tomorrow.
**If you’re interested in the nitty-gritty details of my race day, I published my Half Ironman After Action Report on the site too. It covers what I learned in terms of physical work, training, nutrition, hydration, and my plans for improvement toward the full Ironman next spring.
Great post Ryan. You are an Ironman. Great to have some shared brotherhood with our three hours together on the bike. Keep on inspiring yourself and others.
Thanks, brother! The fellowship built over these types of challenges is often more meaningful than the finish line. It’s the process and camaraderie that makes the difference.