It’s 2021. 2020 is behind us and the world looks…the same? We’re six days into the new year and the pandemic is still here, schools are still closed for now, and we had one of, if not the, most egregious acts ever committed in American political history as a mob got inside the United State Capitol on January 6th. I’ll be honest, it all left me feeling pretty low, defeated, and wondering if what I do even matters.
Amid all of it, I was reminded of a quote from a mentor and friend. Zach Mercurio, the author of The Invisible Leader, has said “The first step to discovering purpose – in school, at work, in life – is a deep appreciation and love for yourself – the belief that you have something to offer.”
The first step to discovering purpose – in school, at work, in life – is a deep appreciation and love for yourself – the belief that you have something to offer.
– Zach Mercurio
I had to remind myself that even in the midst of chaos, the individual – I – could meaningfully contribute to a better life. I was almost ashamed of myself because I launched a product just weeks ago based in the belief that an individual person, with a clear vision and purposeful commitments, can change their lives and impact those around them in positive ways. I felt like I had been a fraud.
Zach and other authors have shared the message of self-belief over and over, yet I still have trouble with it. Maybe you do too. As I drafted this on January 5th, my message was, “you should believe in yourself because you are awesome.” It’s still true but now, on January 7th, I hope you can begin to believe in yourself because I fear the people our nation needs most are often silenced by their own self-doubt.
It took me 30 years to start having a voice. I still don’t know if I’m contributing but I’m trying. In those 30 years though, I can recognize two main reasons I didn’t believe in myself. Have these kept your voice from the world too?
The Shoulder Shrug. The first barrier to believing we have something to offer is the metaphorical shoulder shrug we give when we aren’t sure how to contribute in the first place. When we can’t see how it can be incredibly difficult to believe we can at all.
I’ve dedicated a lot of my life to projects and degrees to ensure that I can contribute to others. But I’ve probably spent equally as much time in the anxiety of not knowing how I can make a difference- feeling purposeless despite projects and degrees – and questioning if I can really contribute at all. But I have picked up a couple of things from people smarter than me that are helpful if you’ve ever been there too.
The best thing you can do when you don’t feel like you can contribute is…contribute. Do something seemingly tiny but that you know without a doubt is useful to someone else. Get up early to make coffee, walk the dog a few times this week (contributing to dog lives counts too), or reach out to a friend to check-in.
If none of those ideas sit with you, you can always lean on connecting people to contribute. The great thinker, Adam Grant, spoke to this in his book Give and Take as well as articles since. He said, “An email intro is the ultimate five-minute favor: An act that costs you a tiny bit of time yet can be life-changing for others.”
If you dig through your 2021 version of a Rolodex, you’ll start to notice there may be people who you know share an interest but don’t yet know each other. Send an email to them that says, “Hey, I was thinking today how you two both share an interest for _____. I don’t have much to add to it, but I thought a connection between you could be meaningful. Cheers!”
Another way to move past the shoulder shrug is to make a list of all the ways you CAN’T contribute. Things only make the list if they truly have no impact now or seemingly into the future. What you’ll find, as I did when I tried, is the list will be incredibly short. This will force you to see that your contributions might not seem meaningful, purposeful, or giant but you contribute ALL THE TIME!
As Zach has said in other places, “if you ever wonder if what you’re doing contributes to someone else, finish the sentence, ‘This task exists so that’…” and you’ll find that at the end of nearly everything, there is another human.
If you catch yourself in the shoulder shrug of not knowing how to start, start small, and build connections. You’ll be amazed by how things can get rolling from there.
I can’t see it. The second barrier to being your own ultimate believer is the failure to see your contributions. An unfortunate lie of the Instagram culture that we’ve bought into is, “if you don’t see it, it didn’t happen.” If you do a great workout but don’t take a picture of the sweat on the floor, then you might as well have stayed on the couch, right? NO! That’s so obviously ridiculous when written on paper. The same ridiculousness applies when you convince yourself that you’re not contributing because you can’t see it clearly or immediately.
What is it called when we can’t see but we believe anyway? Faith. To be your own ultimate believer, you need faith in your contributions. It is common for teachers to talk of the ten-year rule, where students from ten years ago come back and thank them even if they were thankless a decade earlier. You must acknowledge that the same can go for you. Your contributions may not have immediate and visible outcomes, but that doesn’t mean they don’t count. In fact, lasting impact may take longer to be visible anyway.
Don’t underestimate what you can’t see.
So, yes, if you want meaningful LIFE – to love well, be a person of integrity, create fellowship, and pursue your excellence – you must start with a deep and genuine appreciation of yourself and belief that you have something to offer.
Weekend Challenge
If you’re a rational person who wants the best for others and cared about the state of the world, this weekend, please don’t let your mind convince you that you can’t contribute in a meaningful way. Take on one of the mini-challenges below to get started:
- Connect two people who you think might have a shared interest
- Try to make that list of what CAN’T contribute and realize how short it is
- Complete Zach’s sentence with a few actions – “This task exists so that…”
- Find faith in your contributions by thinking back to something you did and then saw it impacts later (it happens all the time but we so easily miss it)
That’s it, everybody. At the end of a crazy week, I hope that you can find your contributions, see the meaning in them, and move forward to make more. Have a great weekend!
Best today. Better tomorrow.