Weekend Challenge #50: Three Reasons to Embrace Your Jaggedness

You are not average. No one is. There’s no such thing as average. That’s what Todd Rose, a high school dropout turned Harvard professor, says. I’m inclined to believe him, and I see the truth in it every single day.

In the 1950s, the United States Air force had a problem. Their pilots were struggling to get their wings and even crashing planes at times. The problem was quickly identified. The pilots had grown since planes were first developed and the cockpits no longer fit them. To fix the issues, they set out to measure over 4,000 pilots for 10 dimensions of size – arm length, torso height, etc. The thinking was that the new cockpits should be designed for the average size pilot among all these dimensions. Sounds about right. But, it wasn’t.

There were exactly 0 pilots that fit the average. No single pilot was “average” size. The Air force had spent a lot of money to figure out their research was ineffective.

The ultimate solution was one that inspired many of the features in your car today. They made the cockpit adjustable to the pilot, instead of trying to make the pilot adjustable to the average cockpit. Yup, that car seat that has 4 settings for every member of your family was inspired by the Air Force. Thanks, America!

Instead of the average, Rose said that each pilot had a “jagged profile” of size. One might have long arms but a short torso while another has long legs and broader shoulders. (Notice how “average” also negated the chance that women may ever fly the planes).

Such findings are important for the Air Force and car manufacturers, but they hold true power when we start to see them everywhere. In schools, we want to teach for the average students but when we understand jaggedness, it’s easy to see that there is no such thing. We want to create an 8-hour workday that is the average time spent on work tasks for a good employee but now we have entrepreneurs, freelancers, and a deep passion for our lives beyond the office.

In your daily life, jaggedness is crucial. If you want to live well and be fulfilled you can’t chase some kind of average, even if it’s “above average.” Instead, you have to understand your own jaggedness because it carries three important implications for your LIFE.

First, jaggedness reminds us that we are in fact unique and no one is “average”

I don’t mean this in a “we’re all special” kind of way. I mean that, in a very practical sense, you have unique things to offer the world. You have skills, talents, treasures, thoughts, and ideas and that can work in distinctive combinations to improve your life and those around you. It also means you don’t have things that others do. Popular culture tells you to spend your energy filling that gap between what you have and what you don’t so eventually you have everything but that doesn’t hold up in reality.

The Jagged principle tells you to use what you do have to optimize your life just as the Air force pilots did with the cockpit. If you have business acumen, start something. If you have a talent for sales, sell something. If you can sing like Mariah Carey then grab that mic. Worry less about becoming a culminated above average person who has a business, sings at Carnegie Hall, and sells ice to Polar Bears because you won’t get there or at least won’t have the passion to sustain it. Worry more about how you might be a unique contributor to something you believe in.

Second, the jagged principle helps you build stronger relationships.

Consider Michael Jordan who remains to be the best basketball player to ever live. His track-record is undeniable but when we say he is the best player ever; what do we mean? Even Jordan himself in the new docuseries, The Last Dance, acknowledged that without Pippen and Rodman, he wouldn’t have won so much. It was no coincidence that Pippen had the most assists in the NBA and Rodman was near the top in rebounds nearly every year the Bulls won. Jordan, as you do, had a staggered profile of skills. What he understood is that it wasn’t his job to fix the lower skills and become closer to the average – it was to elevate the teammates that could fill those gaps for him and allow them all to fully capitalize on their high points.

You have a team too. The LIFE Council is built on the foundation that friendships matter. Friendships in this case though are not people we like to hang out with and make us feel good. A LIFE Council member will call you out on your fear and push you when needed. They don’t care about your feelings as much as they do about your character and potential.

If you can understand your jaggedness, you can begin to build a network of reciprocal relationships – romantic, friendships, mentorships, and others – that provide fulfillment for everyone. Now, to clarify, I’m not advocating that you build relationships based purely on what others can do for you. That’s sociopathic behavior and would ignore jaggedness to only honor others for their best attributes. Instead, knowledge of jaggedness allows you to embrace friendships as components of being your best self. As a friend, you can offer the areas that you have strength in but can be humble to accept guidance in those you do not. You don’t have to hide behind the facade that you have it all because you are aware that “having it all” doesn’t actually exist and that vulnerability creates trust, the foundation of all relationships.

Third, the jagged principle helps us get better in meaningful ways instead of entering the unrealistic “be the best in everything always” rat race.

Related to the first two lessons, the jagged principle creates space for focus. The “grind” and social media want you to believe that you must get better every day, in every way. Ever notice how little attention is paid to what “better” even means? It seems to be just having more. More money, more intelligence, more fitness, more beauty, more abs, more productivity, more discipline, more rest, more mindfulness, more everything. But more of everything soon becomes less of what matters as you become some robotic type of “average.”  

Instead, understand your jaggedness and stop aiming for a good average. Like Jordan, aim for excellence in one or two areas. Become the best in the world (or at least your world) at one thing. Be the best father. Be the best wife. Be the best writer. Be the best and watch the average of your other traits come along for the ride. If you don’t know your jaggedness, you don’t know what to focus on and you shift your attention like a dog surrounded by an army of squirrels.

Don’t fall for the trap that you need to be “better” at everything. It’s impossible and an invisible prison of mediocrity because if you’re average everywhere, you’re not excellent anywhere.

This principle of jagged gifts and abilities is not new but Rose offers it to a world that is teeming with distraction and comparison. The LIFE Council exists to help people move the needle in their lives forward but not in a “do everything” sense. Instead, to have LIFE to the full, you must know your jaggedness and harness your gifts to contribute to those around you and build meaning. I’d dare to say that being some culmination of average, would be a pretty boring life. Live big. Live full. Live jagged.

Weekend Challenge

This weekend get to know your jaggedness. This isn’t necessarily an exercise in strengths and weaknesses. It could be that, but it offers more if you want it to. You can do this with one big exercise, or you could do a few and be more specific. Here are some examples.

1. Fitness. I went through this about a year ago and it led me to train for my first Ironman. I plotted out the jaggedness of my fitness with the traits of mobility, cardiovascular, strength, size, mental toughness, and intensity. Turns out I felt below average on cardiovascular and intensity. So, I decided to choose an event that would capitalize on my mental toughness but expose the weakness of the other two, and I still lift a few days a week. I didn’t simply drop my above averages toward average to bring the others up. I tried to elevate my jaggedness
2. Parenting. Obviously, without kids, I haven’t done this one but I could imagine you plotting things like time with kids, patience, service, activity planning, or positive talk. Then you could share that with your spouse, or even your kids, and see that you’re not trying to be the average parent, but you are trying to be really excellent in areas that matter to you and that you already have an edge. Use your above averages as leverage for the others or compliment your partner.
3. Self-development. This could be a broader way to approach your LIFE. Plot exercise, healthy eating, reading, journaling, prayer, sleep, learning, and bad habits to see how holistically jagged you are.

With each of these, you may see places for growth and areas to celebrate. What you will not see is a perfectly average person across the board. Even if Instagram wants that from you – an above-average everywhere robot – you can’t and shouldn’t want to provide it. Understand your jaggedness and then start to see it in others. Just because someone isn’t as rich as you are, doesn’t mean they are dumber than you too. Just because you’re kid isn’t at the top of the class doesn’t mean they aren’t incredibly creative.

See the nuance in people. Stop labeling based on one thing you notice. For you and for them.

Have a great weekend!

Best today. Better tomorrow.