What can be learned from a month and a half with a foster dog at your house? Two months ago, I would have said, “how to get rid of ticks on dogs?” in my perhaps too present sarcastic tone. But today, I am older and wiser than I was then and now I know you can learn a lot more.
If you didn’t check out last week’s post, “Part 1 – What True Love Is”, I’d go back and do that now because this picks up where it left off. But to summarize it, my wife and I were blessed to have Little Girl, a six-month-old mix puppy with us for about six weeks earlier this summer. She is a rescue from Houston, TX, and needed a lot of love to trust people. She went from the most scared dog I have ever seen to cuddling with me in bed and playing in the yard while fireworks went off. Her transformation wasn’t an accident, it was the deliberate effort from my wife Katie to show her what true love is.
This week, let’s take a look at the five lessons I learned about what true love is from being with my wife as she gave Little Girl a home and loved her until she was ready for a permanent family.
- True love ALWAYS puts other’s first
When you think of someone who loves you, “selfish” is probably not one of the first descriptors for that person. As a Christian, I see true love in Christ’s death for us – He put us first to the point of death. From the moment Little Girl came into our home, Katie put her interests above her own. She stayed up late, got up early, fed her from her hand, removed ticks, bathed her, and overall loved her.
True love is not sometimes letting go of your selfish nature to help someone in need. It is ALWAYS doing that. It is dropping what you have on your schedule to visit a friend in need – not once but whenever they need you. It is putting your phone away at dinner every night, not just most nights. It is giving your comfort, interests, and needs over to the submission of what others need from you. True love is a consistent service to others. It counters the “you do you” narrative of popular culture and the “lookout for #1” false way of living well. Want to truly love, put them first.
- We are PATIENT with every word and move
Love is patient says 1 Corinthians 13. Sounds pretty good at a wedding, right? But let’s have an honest moment. We are AWFUL at being patient with anything. We have information at our fingertips, and we expect everything to be that way. Well, true love is not that way. Little Girl did not trust us at all when she got here. She ran from us, his underneath anything she could, and shook if you tried to pet her. Katie’s love for her was perhaps the most patient thing I’ve ever seen. She started by simply being in the same room as Little Girl, then slowly worked up to petting her from as far away as possible with one hand, to feeding her out of her hand, then to petting her fully. Within two weeks, Little Girl was sleeping next to us and trying to cuddle so much that we had to tell her no.
Katie’s love was patient. Is yours? When your spouse leaves the cabinet door open every single day, can you close it without a passive-aggressive remark? If your kid throws yet another tantrum are you able to stay calm and love them anyway? If you make a mistake are you patient with yourself?
- We CHOOSE to see the best in even the toughest people…or puppies
Newsflash! True love is not a feeling, it is a daily choice. Ever wonder how people are married for 50 years or more? They choose to love each other and see the best in one another even in the worst moments. If you rely on feelings for true love, your story will end quickly and probably badly. Notice Disney movies never follow up with the couple 50 years later, they just end it when the feelings are strongest, before the choices to love need to be made. In ways that I fell short, Katie chose to love Little Girl at all hours of the day and night no matter Little Girls behavior or fear. She was not always the easiest puppy to have around the house, but that didn’t change Katie’s choice.
In Christian lingo, this is what we call grace. Underserved, unearned, and unwarranted love and forgiveness. Little Girl didn’t have to earn anything, does your family? If you truly love them, you’ll choose every day to love those around you even when they mess up, fall short, or otherwise annoy you with that dang cabinet door again.
- We PERSEVERE in the darkness and bring about the light
Little Girl came from darkness and Katie’s love showed her that there is a true light in the world. A week after she went to her forever home, we got a picture of Little Girl sitting on a dock at a lake next to her new best friend, a ten-year-old girl. The picture was from behind them as they sat next to each other and watched a beautiful sunset. I couldn’t help but notice how calm Little Girl was. In no uncertain way, she was seeing what the light of love truly means. Katie’s love persevered the difficult moments, chewed up remote controller, middle of the night crying, and nervous piddling to show Little Girl she was loved.
Do you offer those you love darkness or light? Will you push through heartache, pain, depression, anxiety, fear, and other forms of darkness to show people that there is indeed incredible light in the world? I hope so, we need it, and we need you for it.
- We IGNORE those who say it won’t work and we love anyway
Haters gonna hate. When we love difficult people or puppies, there will be plenty of folks ready to tell us that it won’t work. “People don’t change” they’ll say. They might shake their head, give a long sight, and end with “I just don’t know about this one.” But true love will do it differently. True love will say, “I believe in them” or “I don’t know the ending, but I know that at this moment, my love is better than my anger/fear/discouragement.” I’ll admit that I had my doubts with Little Girl. I was anxious most the first week and told Katie that she seemed so hard to bring around. Thank goodness Katie didn’t listen to me. She ignored me and loved Little Girl anyway.
When the world says anger is louder than love, don’t listen. It might be louder for a moment, but anger is a fading emotion – it can’t last. Love, on the other hand, is an ultramarathoner that never stops. It always lives on within people. At the end of the day, ignore the negative voices and love anyway.
Weekend Challenge
Do you give love or true love? This weekend lean into at least one of these 5 lessons. Doesn’t matter which one but don’t just read about it, give action to it. Reflect on Sunday night how you did. Did you stay patient and not make that side comment you usually would have? Did you love someone in your family who has been notoriously hard to love? Did you put others before yourself in a meaningful way?
Give it a try and let me know the impact it had on you and your relationships.
This weekend is the second annual LIFE Council meeting. My three LIFE brothers and I will get together for the weekend to have an intentional conversation around this past year and look forward to the next. The very first principle of our work, without any coincidence, is love. We’ll need to operate with love toward one another to help each other grow. We won’t act as if love means always being nice because it absolutely does not. Love means putting others first, being patient, choosing to see the best, preserving in darkness, and ignoring those who say people don’t change.
Have a great weekend and love better!
We love you Little Girl
