Ever wondered how the most successful people around you got that way? It would be nice if their path was so complicated that you couldn’t possibly do anything close to what they have because it would give you a nice excuse to sit still, rest on your laurels, and be comfortable. It’s not your fault, they just had a different path than you, right? Sorry but probably not.
Sure, everyone is different and I’m not trying to discount any individual experience. I’m also being careful with the word, “success” because we’ve botched defining it well. Success is not money and fame. To me, success is LIFE –being a person of love, integrity, fellowship, and excellence throughout your day no matter your income or number of followers.
Success is LIFE –being a person of love, integrity, fellowship, and excellence throughout your day no matter your income or number of followers.
The reality is that pretty much everyone I know who lives the LIFE principles well has followed a simple, replicable process for doing so. As a result, all are financially stable, those with families have rock-solid relationships, each is physically fit and healthy, plus they all seem to get better with every day instead of following the “older and slower” narrative. They aren’t all equal in money, family, or health but they all have a foundation.
They all live out the LIFE principles through a process of act, see, believe, repeat.
A.S.B.R. (As-burr). Ok, the acronym doesn’t work but you can remember the words by themselves…it’s only 4.
If you don’t trust me, my LIFE Council brother, Dan (@5280fit if you don’t already follow him), also seemed to see this pattern in those he admires. As a competitive bodybuilder and leader in a major financial organization, Dan is often around people who personify the LIFE principles. In a recent conversation about these types of people he noted, “the behavior will almost always precede the belief.”
There you go – act, see, believe, repeat.
Act
Take action. Take the first step. Even when you can’t see the perfect path to step number ten, take the first one anyway. You can always turn around if you must. The only way to make sure you never get to step ten is to stand still. So many of us love to stand still because it feels safe but it’s a trap.
Standing still is a trap.
There is a parable often used in therapy that goes like this. You close your eyes and envision yourself in prison. You see yourself in a jumpsuit, grabbing onto the steel bars in front of you, with nothing but plain concrete walls all around. You think, “well, this isn’t awesome.” But then, you realize the bars you are behind only cover the center of the cell opening, there are simple ways out on either side. All you need is to take a step right or left and you’re free to go. For many of us, this is a picture of our journey toward LIFE.
We stand in the cell of a mediocre life and complain about it. We grab the bars and white knuckle our frustrations about our marriage, weight, missing passion, or lack of friends. But we never act. We don’t take that single step to the left or right.
If you want to get somewhere with LIFE, you must act.
See
Once you act, you can see new things. The view changes when the bars get out of the picture. The sun shines brighter in places and the clouds darken in others. Now you have clarity and perspective that can guide you.
If you look at your marriage and see a stale relationship, once you begin to take action to connect, you can start to see the real issue has been your all-consuming focus on work. It’s not a stale relationship, you just made it a second priority. Stuck in a rut with your day job? Once you take action and volunteer for something new or have a conversation with your boss about an idea you have, you can see the rut is more shallow than you think and you can climb out.
Believe
Once you see, you almost can’t help but believe. Many people will be crabs in the proverbial bucket when you start to move beyond their expectations. But once you’ve peeked over the side and seen the beach, you believe with all your heart that the inside of the bucket is not the place to be.
Believing can also be internal. Once you act and see yourself accomplish something in LIFE, you will believe in yourself and the cycle gets easier. For example, when I decided to take on more endurance events, I took action and ran a few miles. Then I saw that running was possible for me. Now I believe an Ironman is within reach. Act. See. Believe.
Repeat
Ah yes, the ever-tricky, final “repeat” step. You’ve worked hard to act, see, and believe so you can rest now, right? No. No, you can’t. You act again. This time, bigger or in a different direction if needed. Each time you act, see, and believe there is another frontier in front of you. It never ends and you shouldn’t want it to. You never perfect LIFE, you only move toward it. So don’t stop. Keep repeating.
Let’s take a look at an example from someone much wiser than I—Simon Peter.
Peter, eventually one of Jesus’ twelve apostles, was at a low when he first met Him. He had just struck out at his chosen profession of fishing. No fish wasn’t just a bad day on the lake, it meant he wouldn’t eat. Then Jesus came along and told him to throw his net back out. You can almost feel Peter’s eye-roll. “Come on, man I just spent all night fishing that spot, and nothing is there.” But, no matter how he felt (key lesson there) he acted and lowered the net. Then he saw Jesus’ power when he pulled in so many fish it nearly sunk his boat. Immediately he believed that Jesus is no ordinary man. Finally, he repeated the cycle. Jesus simply said, “follow me” and Peter dropped his life fishing and followed Jesus to become the father of the Christian faith around the globe.
**Credit to my Council brother Matthew for this example
Weekend Challenge
I don’t know where you are in this cycle but I know most of us struggle with action. So this weekend, take action on something. Try to discern what bars you might be stuck behind (fear, regret, shame, guilt, security) and figure out what the step to the side needs to be for you to be free.
Let us know what personal prison bars you might be stuck behind and what action you are going to take to start seeing and believing. Leave a comment here or on Instagram or Facebook so that we can be called up to love, integrity, fellowship, and excellence together.
Be better Monday than you are today.
**The “behind bars” parable came from, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottlieb. It’s a read I recommend – funny and eye-opening about who we are as human beings and how screwed up we can be.