A couple of weeks ago, I asked you if what you are doing would matter in 100 years. The point was not to make you think that nothing matters but rather to remind you that most of your decisions aren’t nearly as important as you think. It was to offer you the freedom to act even when you’re not sure what you’re doing. That left me, and maybe you, at a point of inflection we should pick up on.
Here’s the rub: if most of what we stress about doesn’t deserve that stress when we do find something that seems to have a lasting impact, how do we move toward it? In response to my 100-year question, you told me about your kids, a project you’re working on, a business you want to start, and the children you impact as a teacher or life you save as a first responder. Can we see a common angle there? What matters in 100 years is always, always, always impact on the lives of others. Well, that’s not new logic yet it still seems to escape most of us in implementation. We know that we will find the most meaning when we influence others in positive ways but day-to-day, we chase the materialism of our modern world. We work more hours to buy things for our kids instead of spending time with them. We complain about our job because of the salary or lack of title, never thinking to measure it by the impact we are having. Why this gap between what we know to be true and how we act?
What matters in 100 years is always, always, always impact on the lives of others.
The gap exists in part due to a lack of understanding around how to pursue lasting impact. The truth is, chasing materialism is easy. You can see progress on your paycheck, people regularly applaud you when they complement your car or house, and your family seems happy when you bring home that new TV or Lego set. It’s much more difficult to pursue meaning because your desire for immediate gratification won’t be met. If it matters in 100 years, you won’t be here to see some or even most of the impact.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how to pursue lasting impact and a helpful metaphor came in the mundane. On an early morning run through the dark, I ran past a brick house. I’ve run by that house hundreds of times but this time, it reminded me of the brick road that still leads to my grandparents’ old home in Illinois. For most of us, we can’t remember a time that roads were made of brick instead of pavement and concrete, so it has always struck me.
I thought about how an entire road, over five miles long, was created in 1902 only of bricks and manual labor. No machinery, no false bricks that weigh less or come in big pieces. Nothing but regular blocks of compressed mud and a dirt road. I realized that our pursuit of lasting impact is incredibly similar to creating that road. We want our impact to be like asphalt – quick, efficient, with minimal work but it’s just not that way. To pursue meaning, we can learn a few lessons from the brick road:
1.We start with a dirt road, not an empty field.
When the masons arrived at my grandparent’s street over a hundred years ago, they didn’t come across an empty field and start throwing bricks on the ground. They arrived at a dirt road. The edges were defined, and the direction was provided. I imagine they were grateful for the dirt because they didn’t need to forge the path from nothing, and they could focus on their craft. In the pursuit of meaning, we also get a dirt road. We don’t all get the same road or equal condition, but we get a road none the less. Of course, we can choose to try elsewhere but we should be grateful for the starting point laid for us by our families and our faith. To pursue meaning, start with some gratitude. Grateful doesn’t mean you can’t improve though. You could be content with the dirt you’re given and use it for the rest of your life as is. But as David Goggins says, “grateful but never satisfied.” To pursue meaning, take notice of the road you’re given, be grateful for it, then start paving.
2. Pave with the bricks you’re given
We all have talents, skills, and opportunities we can capitalize on and there are ones we didn’t get. Our modern world loves to say you can do anything and be anything, which has some truth, but if you want to really pursue meaning it helps to start by knowing what you’re talents are and what you’re inspired by. The road is paved with bricks, not wood or some other material. To pursue meaning, identify your bricks.
3. Bricks can only be laid one at a time
Pursuing materialism or building an asphalt road is easier because you can do so in big sweeps. One pay increase can mean a better car and a bigger house just like a giant machine can lay asphalt in a matter of minutes. To pursue meaning, to build the brick road that will last, you have to put in the work one brick at a time. You can’t rush it. One lyric composed, one line is written, one conversation with your daughter, one smile to a stranger, one uplifting word, one brick.
4. Other people won’t care (and will even discourage you) until you’re done
100-year meaning is difficult because it’s often unrecognized until it’s complete. In fact, like the brick road, people will even be mad at you while your paving because you’re making them take detours on their path. They might honk at you, tell you to stop because it’s taking too long, or simply give you a look of annoyance every time they drive by. When the road is complete, however, these same people will applaud you. As Andy Frisella says, once you’ve shown without a doubt that you have succeeded, people will support you but until then they will try to hold you to the dirt road because that’s what they are doing. When you’re road is done, and you’ve laid thousands of bricks, people will drive on your road, following you and telling you what a great job you’ve done. To pursue meaning, you have to ignore a lot of people while you lay your bricks.
5. Remember to look up once in a while
While the road at my grandparent’s house was built, I imagine the masons looked up occasionally. They looked ahead to the work still to be done and probably felt discouraged as the miles of dirt lay in front of them. But they also probably turned their head and saw the beautiful brick they had laid and were reminded of the impact they were creating. To pursue meaning, don’t forget to stand up and look back at what you’ve done once in a while.
So how do you pursue 100-year meaning? Start by being grateful but not satisfied. Identify your talents and inspiration to start with. Recognize that you will have to build meaning one small step at a time and begin taking small actions right away. Ignore the people who say it can’t be done because when they say that they are talking about themselves, not you. Last, remind yourself often of the work you’ve done already and the reasons it’s worth it to keep going.
Weekend challenge
What brick can you lay this weekend? There is a fundamental truth in the pursuit of meaning. We all crave it even if we try to deny it. We know deep down that life isn’t really about our cars, house, clothes, or whatever else you buy. We know it’s about relationships and meaning. This weekend, I hope you can fight the urge to pursue the material and begin to lean into the much more difficult work of pursuing meaning. This weekend lay one brick. That’s it. Don’t try to pave the whole road. Write one sentence of your story, give one compliment to your partner, smile at one person, pick up one piece of trash on the street.
Remember this weekend that you matter. That even when people try to discourage you from laying the bricks on your road to meaning, it is time well spent. Winning takes time and perseverance, losing takes simply sitting back and giving up. Win this weekend, one brick at a time.
I’d love to hear what bricks you all are laying this weekend. We can build a road faster when we work together. Share with me on Instagram (@life.enacted) or Facebook
Best today. Better tomorrow.