Have you ever disregarded cleaning your bathroom mirror for a while?
It makes no sense. That thing is at least a couple of feet away from you all the time. You never touch it. Yet, that thing gets nasty!
Simply leaving the mirror alone and living my life around it is enough to add dirt, grime, and little spots of who knows what all over it.
Yet, as it gets dirtier and dirtier, its purpose remains unchanged. Every time I walk by it, I look at it. I check my hair. Make sure my clothes are all good. And, let’s be honest, make sure my workouts are getting the results I want.
But there is something deeper happening. That quick look in the mirror is an assessment. It is an evaluation of myself. It’s a chance to remind myself of my greatness or see the shortfalls. That mirror has power.
Even through the dirt, its power remains. I don’t see something I don’t like and think, “damn, I gotta clean this mirror!” No. I think, “damn, I’m not what I could be.” I don’t think to clean the mirror; I assume it must be me bringing the dirt and grime.
This same phenomenon happens in the metaphorical mirror of life.
We all judge ourselves. We look at ourselves physically in the mirror and spiritually, mentally, and relationally in thousands of other ways.
Yet, just like that nasty bathroom mirror, we see ourselves through a lot of dirt and grime.
We try to see ourselves for who we truly are, but the grime obscures the reflection.
The mirror is covered in lies.
Lies of the world: You should be a millionaire. Your house isn’t big or grand enough. Your skin is the wrong color. You need to do more to be valuable. You need to have more. You need to be more. You are not enough. You do not measure up to that person or this person.
Lies of our own: If I want it, I should have it. I deserve to be rich. It’s my parent’s fault. If only the government would solve this. I’m a waste of space if I don’t make the “40 under 40” lists. I never was any good with relationships. I can’t meet the right people.
Lies of the past: Your parents were angry drunks; you will be too. You’ve always been an introvert so stay quiet. You were a bad kid. You were a troublemaker. You weren’t worth the coach’s time.
When I look in the mirror of life, I decide who I am, what I am capable of, and who I want to be. But the mirror is nasty. It needs cleaning before I use it to know myself.
But just like the bathroom mirror, I don’t think to clean it. Instead, I see the dirt and grime as a part of me to fix. Sometimes that is true. I do have things to improve. But because the mirror is so dirty, I can’t know what those things are, and I focus in the wrong places.
I am learning, slowly, to change that. When I hear that subtle inner voice tell me I’m not good enough to write or not fast enough to race, I remind myself that the dirt of lies covers that mirror. I am working hard to clean the mirror, but the grime is much stronger than what is on the bathroom mirror. Windex and paper towels won’t do the job here.
I’m learning to clean the mirror one layer at a time by applying resistance. I resist the lies with truth. I make sure to consume wisdom every day before I expose my mind to the lies of the world. I read the Bible before Instagram. I meditate on wholeness before starting my fractured schedule. I say “thank you, Lord” before asking for more. I lean on my brothers before believing what a stranger says. I say, “I love you,” and refuse to utter, “I hate you.” I give credit before taking it. I look for the best in my colleagues and highlight it for the world when I can. I stop for one full day a week to remind myself to be humble and wipe away any new dirt that may have landed on the mirror.
I’m not perfect, but my mirror is getting cleaner, and I’m getting to know who I really am.
It’s time to clean the mirror layer by layer. It’s hard work, but it’s worth it. When I was born, the mirror was pretty clean. Maybe it had some specks of dirt from my ancestors, but if I looked into it, I saw me.
Along the way, and in a million ways, from family, school, friends, religion, media, social media, sports, books, conversations, deaths, breakups, fears, and more, the mirror has gotten dirty.
Simply leaving the mirror alone and living my life around has been enough to add dirt, grime, and little spots of who knows what all over it. The default is a dirtier and dirtier mirror. The resistance is the clean reflection.
It’s time to clean. It’s time to see myself, for who and what I was created to be.
Have you disregarded cleaning your mirror for a while?