Purpose – It’s Not What You Think

I’ve been struggling.

I’ve been struggling with what my “thing” is. Everyone seems to have a “thing” – that thing that they are known for. They seem to have found their purpose.

If everyone has some deep-rooted purpose that drives their life though, where does that leave anyone like me who doesn’t seem to have found their purpose? I can’t pinpoint a single thing that I want to define me. Today, I’m prouder than I am ashamed of it but it weighed on me for years.

Purpose has been popularized to the “oh, this isn’t really the same thing as it was” point so let’s revisit this two-syllable word that can create anxiety in so many of us. There are two key ideas that I believe to be true about purpose which are too often left out of the popular notion.

Purpose is Dynamic and Plural

Purpose is most often described as some sort of singular and fixed, end-all-be-all to our existence. It is talked about as a stagnant driving force throughout our lives – unchanging because of its universal truth in our hearts. It defines us and guides our every decision and move from the moment we find it until we die.

The problem is that notion assumes stagnation that doesn’t exist in the human condition. It is a rare, if not completely fictitious person who has a single-minded focus throughout their life. Don’t trust me, trust those who have shown us. Here are some examples of people who seemed single-focused and incredibly purpose-driven who have proven that purpose isn’t fixed.

• Michael Phelps was driven by a purpose to be the greatest swimmer of all time to the tune of 40-hour training weeks and 10,000 calories per day Most would say he accomplished that with his 28 Olympic medals – 23 of them gold. Then, he turned 32 which is not quite an age for purposelessness to settle in. Now, he is an activist for mental health and therapy motivated by his own struggles with depression and anger. Purpose changes.  
• Barack Obama started his political career as a small community organizer in Chicago. His purpose was determined by what that community needed locally. Then, as he experienced more, he began to shift to a broader approach and desire to bring about change but his purpose to lead the nation wasn’t cemented until others pushed him there. He couldn’t see it himself, but once others showed him, he opened his purpose to more. Purpose broadens.
• Alexi Pappas has lived with dual-purpose throughout her life. She is an Olympic caliber runner and a creative filmmaker plus a best-selling author all at the age of 30. Her dual purposes – be an Olympian and a world-class creator – shift and combine for Alexi to be the amazing person she is. David Epstein would call this range and says, “our greatest strength is the exact opposite of specialization, it is the ability to integrate broadly.” In a world that celebrates specialization purpose can be plural.
• Bob Dylan, after years of being “the voice of a generation” with a purpose to engage people from behind the microphone, announced that he had become a Christian in 1979. His purpose continued in music, but he integrated his new faith and recorded two gospel albums to share the message of Jesus for three years. Purpose grows.

Each of these top performers has been and is purpose-driven. None of them though have lived with one purpose that has driven every decision and action. They’ve been open to the inevitable complexity of human experience for themselves and others. Purpose is dynamic, ever-changing, and pluralistic.

Purpose is in the Present

Purpose is almost always talked about as being in front of us. It is something you “find” somewhere at some time in the future.  Simply stated, that doesn’t make sense. If it’s always in front of you, you can never get there and yet your life every day is meaningful. The trick is that you must choose to see it.

Zach Mercurio has recently said, “Purpose is your contribution. It’s how your strengths make an impact. The problem isn’t ‘not having purpose.’ The problem is not being able to see it”.

That’s incredibly well put. Your purpose is already within you. It is in the moments of your life that you knew you were contributing. A conversation with your friend after a breakup, making that meal for your spouse after a long day, leaving an extra tip for the waiter on your Friday date night, or creating that program at work that people use to help clients.  

Beyond purpose being actions of now, sometimes your purpose is to simply be in the moment.

Purpose can come with pressure when we assume that is something to find or attain

Purpose can come with pressure when we assume that is something to find or attain. It’s intangible. It can’t be bought or taken off a store shelf. All you can do is live it and chose to see it. Don’t discount the small yet impactful things you do. Don’t overlook people right in front of you in order to stress about the masses on social media who could follow you someday.

You, yes you, have a purpose right now. You always have. God created you with it. It might take on a new variation tomorrow. It might have something added to it. It might even expand with a new opportunity.

The only thing purpose is not is something you don’t have and need to get.

Weekend Challenge

This weekend don’t try to live with purpose. . . because you already are! Instead, choose to see it. Choose to notice how many things you do this weekend that contribute to a positive world.

When you ask your spouse how their day was and choose to listen, that’s purpose. When you tuck your kid into bed and read a story, that’s purpose. When you meet a friend for coffee, that’s purpose. When you simply chose to wake up and live the day, that’s purpose.

You are purposeful. Make the choice to notice it and be prepared for it to shift, adapt, and elevate as you go through this incredible ride of LIFE.

Have a great weekend! Remember that purpose isn’t as scary or complicated as it seems. Purpose can and will change through life. Be ok with it, embrace it, and choose to see it today and every day.