Resistance is a Two-Sided Coin: An Idea to Change Your Life One Coin Flip at a Time

Flip the coin. It lands heads. Resistance is coming.

“I can’t write like Ryan Holiday or John Mark Comber. I don’t have an audience anyway, no one reads it, and no one cares, so why should I? Plus, I’ll never get a publisher without a huge following, and self-publishing is a nightmare.” 

Welcome to my mind as I sit, keyboard at the ready, a blank page in front of me.

I am a learner and sharer. But this blank page says I must not be any of these things, that, like it, I am empty. 

Isn’t that how so many lies of resistance are? A reflection of someone or something else’s fears projected onto us so much that we begin to carry the same fear. 

Resistance is a real and powerful force operating in opposition to who we are supposed to be. It is that voice that yells from the blank page or whispers from the depths of our minds that we aren’t enough, we don’t do enough, and even if we try, someone else is already better than us. It tells us to stay in slippers instead of running shoes. It reminds us of times we have struggled in the past and why that is sure to happen again. It is an old friend we know isn’t helping us move forward. It is a thought or behavior pattern we still have from when we were seven years old. The resistance exists in many forms, but it is a reality for everyone. 

If we end the story of resistance there, we end hopeless. 

Flip the coin again. This time it lands tails. 

We can return resistance. Fight it with itself.

As Newton taught us, an object in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force. In the case of resistance to who we want to be, that external force is our resistance. It is the same in that it is a powerful force working against something. It is different in the direction in which it faces. It is the other side of the same coin.

This side of the coin is our ownership and agency to apply resistance against itself. This resistance is that of the single mother of three I met at the start line of Ironman Tulsa in 2021. Amidst voices all around me during my training that said, “once you have kids, you won’t do that,” or “if I didn’t have kids, I’d do an Ironman too,” here she was, at the start line of a 140.6-mile journey of endurance that many people set as a lifetime goal. With resolve, she proclaimed, “I’m finishing this so they know that they can do anything.” Her resistance was more potent than what the world could apply. Her kids, all under the age of 13, would be waiting at the finish line in about 15-hours to learn one of humanity’s best lessons: Yes. You. Can. 

At a core level, James Clear’s work on habits is an ode to overcoming this resistance. “Every decision and action is a vote for the person you want to be,” says Clear. He advocates for stating small, with the first two minutes of a new habit being the most crucial. Don’t decide to run 10 miles. Decide to put on your shoes and walk outside. That is overcoming resistance. 

Unlike a genuine coin with 50/50 odds of heads or tails, the coin of resistance weighs towards heads. Every once in a while, we get a tails moment or day when things seem easy, the words flow from our fingers, the weight goes up quickly, the strides synchronize to carry us forward. But, most often, we get resistance. The weather isn’t ideal; someone else wants our time and attention; our inner voice beats the crap out of us; our comforter feels too good; the news is all bad; we feel lost, worthless, or hopeless. 

There is good news with the resistance coin, though: it doesn’t have to flip in the air like the start of a football game. You can flip it on a table like the cover of a new book. You turn it over on purpose, only to be reversed when you lose focus or need to move on. 

You can flip the coin. I’m doing it with these very words. Later this morning, the weighted side will again prove victorious, and resistance will set back in, but for now, my resistance is stronger, and it is stopping the motion to give me a small but powerful space to create. 

I hope that this resistance coin can change your life. I know that sounds grandiose, but it’s true. A simple mind shift of empowerment allows you to realize what resistance you face and how to overcome it with your resistance and resolve. 

As Clear says, start small and build. Flip the coin over long enough to write a sentence or walk around the block. Let tails be up long enough to say “no” to that drink you know doesn’t serve you or to that person who treats you more like a punching bag than a friend. 

The more often you apply your resistance back, the weaker the force against you gets. You can turn the coin over to tails more often and for extended periods. You’ll never have an “all-tails” life. That’s a lie of social media. As Jesus of Nazareth said, “you will have trouble in this world.” (reference). 

Here are a few ideas to flip the coin today, even for a few minutes: 

1. Flip it now. Decide to stop allowing resistance to win and prevent you from being who you want to be. Don’t decide tomorrow. Decide now. 
2. Take a small action. Go for a 5-minute walk, write a sentence on a sticky note, make one brushstroke on the canvas, send a text to a friend, breathe deeply for 30 seconds, pet your dog for a minute. Whatever it is for you, make it small and do it now. 
3. Have a reason to flip it. You won’t have the willpower to overcome resistance alone. Go for a walk because the dog needs it. Send that text to encourage someone else. Write the sentence to inspire a reader. Just as that mom in Tulsa taught us, the coin is easier to flip when serving others. 

I have a quarter on my desk at home in front of me now. For the past 15-minutes, it has been on tails as I’ve written this. When I woke up today, it was heads up. It’s a Monday morning. My bed was warm; my wife was with me; life was perfect right where I was. But I knew I had to flip the coin to serve, provide, and create. You do too. 

Resistance is strong, so are you. 

Flip the coin.